Path of the seeker

My journey
Is the path of The Seeker
It was given to me at age 8
When I could not reconcile
Or balance good with bad
Joy with suffering
There was just too much pain
All the puppies and flowers
And hugs and lollipops
Couldn’t balance the scales
Couldn’t relieve the suffering in the world

Haunted. I was haunted
But that haunting
Had its opposite
The light of peace
Beckoning
And thus began my journey
Trying to turn bad into good
Suffering into peace
I wanted everyone to
Experience the light
That I could sense

I met many sojourners
On different paths
All trying to ease suffering
With power or work or religion
With substances or sex or lies
We are a pathetic lot
Whether on the hamster wheel
Or lost in play
Suffering continued

Then in the middle of my path
I abruptly stopped
And headed back the way I came
All the way back
To a preverbal time
And the light became stronger
And when I tried to talk
The light dimmed
My words were useless here

There was only knowing
Some sort of Truth…
That infused me with golden warmth
It had no boundaries
And I was released
From all the labels and roles
I no longer knew my name
I no longer had a self
That could suffer
Thank you…God?

I spent a year gardening
And drawing black lines
They became my new language
Slowly, I was expelled from the garden
And a new path opened
Just as arduous as the one before
Even more suffering
More chaos in the world
Dualism splintered into micro identities
Consensual language was challenged
Alt-realities were being embraced
Amplified by social media
What a tangled mess
But I know God isn’t missing in all this

So I play the part assigned
Rage when rage is called for
Love when love is called for
And embrace the mystery
Of this world of dancing opposites
Never not-knowing Truth
Never far from the One Soul
Who loves making rainbows 🌈

Oct 23, 2021