God of Fear

Perhaps the fear of God
Single handedly
Dulled my zest for life

The fear of being bad
The fear of being wrong
Straitjacketed me

I was a bad girl
I was a nasty girl
And God knew

I spent half of my life atoning
Of taming my wild
To appease a judging God

Until I said, fuck it
If this is life
Then I’d rather be dead

I wallowed in the mud
To soil the purity and sterility
Of righteousness

And I set out to plant my garden
To give birth to life
My life, a real life

The birds sang my heart to life
The river flowed in my veins
The sun and moon set my rhythm

All pursuits ended
I was the me I was looking for
Unbound by His shoulds

And the Creative Juiciness
Presented Herself
In a joyful welcome

“You made it through the desert.
That arduous smelting
The trek from mind to heart

Few will follow
But the door is always open
And they know we are here


(c) 2/2020 bjbeyers