Shredding Memories

I have a gazillion poems and journals
Notebooks full of thoughts
As I sort through them
I realize they were all for nought

No one really cares
Nor will they take the time
To read all my musings
The prose, the poems, the rhymes

I wrote about Erik, Kenny, Gracie, and Dan 
I watched the birthing of those babes
I went to Las Vegas and Tucson
To see newborns Anthony and Gabe

And poems and letters to my son
(As you might expect)
From babyhood to manhood
50 years of love and respect

And woven throughout my life
There were always nephews and nieces 
And my brother and my sisters
I love them all to pieces 

I wrote about my Jersey friends
In my heart they have a home
And about all my roads trips--
Driving cross counry on my own

And my girlfriends, oh the good times
Best some stories go unread
I'm giggling as I write this
We are bonded until we're dead

And the three Aquarius boyfriends
Indigenous artifacts, hot air balloons
Hawaii, Mexico, the mountains, the desert
Sweet music and sour tunes

And I have poems about the crossing over
Of Jacquie, Tio, dad and mum
And the tragic loss of Melanie and Justin
That left us grieving and numb

I've journaled about misogyny 
About a career that sucked me dry
About falling down and getting up
And losing the will to try

I have poems about the angst of life
And healing from trauma untold
Of the unraveling and unveiling
To find my inner gold

I wrote about losing my religion
In order to find my God
She is everywhere in everyone 
And she calls herself Ms Maud

So maybe all those written words
Weren't really journaled in vain
Because, as I shred them, I've learnt
...I would do it all again.

(c) bjbeyers 2022 #bjbart #cleaninghouse